the other day,
 I sat and pondered at Rodin's Gates of Hell, for a longish bit, then pedaled back home, along the river, into a strong, gusty, headwind home.

It's slipped from my grasp, my inspiration.  Not that I've had much directions that I've been headed with the photos I've taken.    but, I have had thoughts, impulses, like the tree on Belmont with the full moon.

I headed down town, to take pictures of the Clothes pin,  it was surrounded by fence, and a few, snapping it themselves.  I ponder, why and what do my photos say?

scratching my head on the way to bed, I'll think just a bit more on it and forget and fall asleep.
get up and ride my bike.





I took a break from my mom/stepfather's house for a bit and headed out into cold Beaver.

I got to Beaver a day early, to get to spend a bit of extra time with my Mom and Michael (my stepfather, who's been more of a father than my birth father) and help set up for the dinner of 23.

Shoe boxes means, .... that I get all these ideas, thinking, and I need a place to put 'em,... the plans, and dreams, cleverness,... about bikes, tactics, work, art, music ... and now taking pictures...

so I'm jotting them down and slipping them into the shoebox.

the day before Beaver, Thursday I packed my camera, and tripod and went for an easy ride.   Thought I'd just shoot a bit and pedal a bit.  For the most part, I'm off the bike.

The camera, its made me happy.

I like Pittsburgh a lot, I lived there for a bit, way back in one of the dropping outta college times, worked at a Sear portrait studio.   I liked the people, down to earth, but the grime, mills, ruggedness, I guess you take from the land, and then try to live on the land that pays for your food,  its not a pretty town.

I drove down an access road,  you know 23% grade or so, down to the river to take pictures of the bridge.   Did not get a good pic.  but I turned around and the sun had poked out a bit down the river on the smoke stacks, and I liked what I got.

I'm trying to get back into the family thing a bit better,  I've not been the best at it.   

.... riding, cross, and all, its soothed my soul a bit, its taught me to lose, to love the trip, to let me air it out a bit, and I do need  to let go of a few things.

                                                           ahhh, MY MOM !!!

My mom and Michael made a great dinner.
what a great night.

they did a ton of work, and we came together, and shared and drank and ate and hugged

my stepfather, Mr. Michael DiLauro
you're  a good man

I know, soon I am off into a new season of training, and sorta like life, I don't want to make the same mistakes, I want to face my failures, and do what I can to improve.  

and those,....  Them ideas,.... that bubble up in my brain, gotta keep them somewhere, who knows when I'll need them?

Zoikes!  david


1000 words

as long as I'm quiet I can wonder around the set, snap a few pictures, check the Internet, hobnob with co-workers, snack at the craft service table.   the last two days, in a supermarket with a flying pig that talks to shoppers.   

I'm not much of a Holiday party guy.   I  always feel a bit outta the element.
and I've got a few to go to, so I'll muddle through them.

Got some Holga lens, plastic elements/pinhole to use for fun.
They are cheap, and I like using the real thing to create an effect, even though, you can probably do better in post, in manipulating the look of an image.

I'm disappointed in the pinhole lens, a bit washed out/low contrast.  .., needs a bit of a long exposure to capture the light.   Might get a "laser" pinhole lens, I like the look of the pinhole, just need it to work better.

Tomorrow is the BT Xmas cyclomtb follies, maybe I'll take some portraits, who knows how inspired I'll feel in the morning.
but practied a bit on the porch, myself, and my wife Ljiljana

to a nap, then slippng into some nicer duds, and out to a Holiday party, joy

cheers, d.


"feed me"

i missed racing Sat.  (I really regret not being at Fairhill)  The week was tough,  I had a painful, stiff neck, like broken ribs painful.  Then slogging through 3days of work.  I got better quick, but that zapping pain, it reminds me, how easy it is to forget about feeling normal.  

Yesterday, I asked my wife, that if I got washy on racing today to prod me on, to get me to go.

I awoke before the alarm and thought, "its cold out", not much I really lose by staying in bed.
but its the MAC, and its my friends, and I nudged myself.   I think part of the wanting to stay in bed part came from me not being fast this year.  I had spurts,  but most of the time was a slogging away.

I think having the Worlds Master Cross races in the US did one thing, re motivate, it created dreams in all of us, that we could put it all together, and somehow have the best day on the bike and be a World Champion.   It made for a deeper, fitter, group of masters here in the MAC area.  I'm not going to Worlds, but the ones from this area that go, I root with my whole spirit that they win. 

I love to compete, I'm not out there on the bike not to win.   and despite, maybe me letting you by, or traveling to a race with you, I'll do all in my mind and legs I can to crush you on the course.

 its not hard to say good-bye to this season, its been a good one, with fast grey beards, a great MAC series, a mix of riding conditions.
People put a lot of love, and time into making it happen, and I really enjoy what they give,
thanks for the races, the beers, the cheers, and fucking kicking my ass.

Cheers!  David



ah I'm sitting with a large bottle to my left and an almost empty glass on my right.

I've gotten back from taken some pictures at Belmont Plateau, of the tree I love.

Its a hard thing to do, to point the lens at darkness, to press the shutter release, and wait 25 seconds,
to peer into the little screen and try to decipher if its there, or not.

my racing season, its been a really enjoyable one.   Not in my results.  Not in being fast.  Just facing my battles, feeling human, fragile, feeling speed and the blur of air,

I'll sleep in tomorrow, and spin a bit, ... not going to race, despite,... the need to race.  and Sunday, that's the end of the MAC, the real racing.  The End.  Then  a couple of fun races, non-sanctioned bro-hood shit.
and then the dreams of next season,... I will be faster, fitter, smarter, next year.

Cheers, and I hope to get out on a ride with ya soon.  d.



it took  a bit longer this year, I think, for all of the leaves to fall off the big tress around our house.

been biding my nights reading this book, its good, sorta written in thuggish simple talk.
So its a good read for me.

I like thinking, improving, solving
today I was taking to task to neaten up the yard a bit, to reduce the number of leaves laying about,
I don't care too much about the look, but, it would be rude of me to let our place go "au natural",  the leaves blowing onto the other, very kept, yards.

I found a use, a very good use, that worked quite well, for my old beer case box.

It stiffened up the leaf bag, and made it easy to stuff.

Harvey use to work at the shop as a mechanic, a old timer, a bit Craggie,
gruff, mumbler, back in the day type.
He'd find solutions, or make a tool to make it work, simplify things, and I always tried to peak, pay attention to what he was doing, not so much ask, but bided my time.

My card board box solution made me quite happy, and If I could whistle, I would of filled the air with a cheerful tune, while I raked and stuffed the bags full of leaves.

Cheers, d.



there is a strange feeling that penetrates Super Cross

its a fine race

just a bit under-cordinated, or distorted

I did well, two days of going good

5th, then a 6th

the Long Island Vibe,

I like going to this race, I do miss the 'amptons.

now those were some parties

this race....    its strange, ... but so is what racing cross is,   a road bike with dirt tires,.... going in small circles for an hour or less, running with your bike, pits...  it. Long Island embodies a part of cross.    The it don't make sense, but hey, its a painful good time.


The Tick

We've got six cats.  All were strays. 

 Jimmy, Jefferson, Miles, Patrick, Kenny and Pascal.

we use the once a month flea/tick stuff, it works great.   Pascal, a rag doll cat, with long, light flocks of hair, dense and thick, is a spunkie one.   he likes to roam, and apparently sleeps under some bush that ticks like.  Pulled quite a few off of him.    This one just fell into my hand as I rubbed him.  So full and bloated of blood.   I rolled him in the palm of my hand and took him off to a photo session.
I was going to kill him, but my wife found him cute, took him and dropped him off down the street somewhere.  I don't try to kill too many living things.   Mosquitoes, ticks, I kill, ...  what I can leave alone, I do.   I try to spare stink bugs, gnats, spiders, worms, slugs.     I am a guest here, I do enough damage by my life style. so what I can let be, I do.

cheers, d.



yesterday, I had the worse day on my bike ever.  I pulled myself from the race 2 laps in, dripping blood from the nose.  A dead engine.   No spark. Wrong tire treads.   and still It was a good day.

I laid  in bed,  early, I was so tired, at 8:30. 

On Sat. I sat on the line, with a smile, and pep.  Rolled my tire in the first of the race, and ran to the pit.  I exited with the 55+ on my ass.   I thought for a brief second to pull up to not go so hard to save some for Sunday.   I had nothing to lose,  I could ride my race, and off I went, harder, deeper, relentless.   I spent it all.

I woke last night around 2am,  still a bit tired, but brain roaring alive, thinking about cross

I started riding, everything was a race, every ride, it was incredible to push myself, against my friends, freds, carrots.  I posesed a Naive-ity Strenght, I was to dumb to notice how or why I felt, to full of the thrill to worry about form, wanting to prove myself, and new that I had so many challenges ahead.

well, I've learned something, my limits, and somehow, I liked it better when I didn't know.  I did not know what I could not do.  Everything was achievable.   Now, its work, prep, skill,...

what was good about yesterday?   I guess its sorta why I race,  to fail, to get beat, humbled, crushed, that ugly pitted feeling of such a poor performance,  and, to think, a lot of people never learn what that feels like.

So today, a bright sun lightens my mood, a late call for work, and working with peeps I enjoy and like a bunch.   

I look forward to the future,

I got my camera out and took a few photos, and at a nice berm which you could make into a jump, I pushed the tape in, leaning.   and as each rider came to the berm, I think they knew what I wanted.  Air.

Cheers!  david




took some pics at the white denim show, very good show

Street Joy:

cheers, d.

looking forward to racing tomorrow at the New Fairhill, one of my favorite courses.