45+ PA state champ

One of the worse parts of racing for me is answering the question, that those who know you raced ask.  "how'd you do".

For me, not too well,  like back in the teens is an average result, once in a while I've been cracking the top ten in smaller fields.   

and when I tell them "16th",  I know they wonder,  .... "what is wrong with you?"

I don't know if its worse that at the end of the season, they stop asking, they know how you did.
and are thinking "whatever is wrong with this dude?  he should get it together and kick some ass,  get up there on the podium,  I can understand not always being first, 2nd's good too,  but common. 13th!"

and when I start,  to tell, why, my reasons,.....
Excuses.


Then I look for the little things to make myself feel good.

1.  Carlos got a cool pic of me.   I look cool, for sure.

Photo: Carlos Cabalu

2.  Prepared.   Everything ran like a champ.
3.  Still racing, didn't bag it, cause I'm tired, it's late in a long season, or cause it was windy and cold.
4.  Fucking I race Cross!
5.  I am 13th in the series.  13 is a badasses number.

this race, was good in many ways,  a Grand course, tough conditions, and tough foes.
I did come in 16th.


so often I write the count down to the start of the season, the anticipation.
but now, I don't want to believe, maybe 2, 3 races left. 

Life's been full, balanced.   I've not been the fastest.  but even still I yearn for it.   and to punish myself, I do suffer more, deeper,  its harder.   I've learned more this year.   Pacing, tactics, protection. 

Cross is grand.  I'm giddy.   I'm lapping it up.  

My regards losers, dlowe.